


Broken Peices

by PurpleMango



Series: The Process of Building A Home [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Clint Barton, Awesome Pepper Potts, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Chocolate, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Coffee, Dick Jokes, Domestic Avengers, Fluff and Crack, Light Angst, Multi, Natasha Romanov & Tony Stark Friendship, Natasha Romanov Feels, Past Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Past Rape/Non-con, Pepper Potts & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Protective Natasha Romanov, Red Room (Marvel), Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-07-15 00:52:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 20,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16052069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurpleMango/pseuds/PurpleMango
Summary: The Avengers are all broken people.None of them make a complete puzzle, they're all missing a few puzzle pieces.(Well other than Sam, who's the most put together, but he's boring with his healthy coping skills and his stupid therapy)It’s not that Natasha isn’t just as broken as them, she certainly is.It’s just that Natasha doesn’t care enough about herself to put herself first.So she ignores her own problems for the sake of the others.





	1. Chapter 1

The Avengers are all broken people. 

Natasha’s noticed this in her time with them.

Tony can’t sleep without his gauntlet-watch on his wrist. Sometimes he refuses to sleep for days and plays it off as one of his ‘science binges’, but the haunted look he wears when he doesn’t think anyone is watching tells her a different story. Natasha constantly sifts through the abandoned fan mail room and leaves a nice note to Iron Man on Tony’s desk after one of his ‘binges’.

Clint doesn’t sleep much, but he never did before either. He spends most of his nights on Skype with Coulson. She know that it helps, but not much. Clint still falls asleep during meals, still has those bags under his eyes. When Natasha sees the warning signs, she'll pull him into her rooms, laying herself out on top of him. He never says anything about it, but he tends to sleep easier.

Sometimes she doesn't see Bruce for days. He locks himself in the cage after missions more often than not and he never talks about the year he went off the grid. She makes sure to give him hugs before they go on missions Hulk might have to come out.

Thor is scared to go back to Asgard. He tells her one night they both can't sleep that he was told to come back with his brother or not at all. He doesn't want to be banished. Again. She makes sure to be awake whenever Thor wakes up with nightmares, hot Chai ready and Mario Cart already up on the big screen.

Steve wakes up shouting sometimes. On those days he hides away and punches things. Natasha only notices this because the sound travels through the vents, and her room is below his. Not that it’s loud enough to wake her if she was sleeping, but then again she doesn’t sleep much either. She pulls him away from his punching bag on those days, asking for help with baking some type of sweet treat, and by the time she puts in in the oven, Steve will be fast asleep on a bar stool.

Sam will sleep anywhere, but usually ends up shaking awake with tears in his eyes. He’s better about his coping mechanisms, but accepts her blankets easily as she invades his space, book in hand. He seems to sleep better with someone next to him, and she can’t fault him for that.

Natasha watches over them. Makes Jarvis wake her up if someone can’t sleep. Always has a supply of hot chocolate at the ready when someone is having a bad day. Bakes food for her injured teammates with whoever feels the most guilty. 

It’s not that she isn’t just as broken as them, she certainly is.

It’s just that Natasha doesn’t care enough about herself to put herself first.

 

When James Barnes (or as everyone called him: Bucky) came to the tower, Steve and Tony argued for what seemed like an hour on the subject of the man who was just sitting next to them, staring out the window.

“I don’t want him in my tower!”

“Tony-”

“No! Are you insane? I know he was your friend before, but now he’s a killer! He’s not stable!” Tony’s face looked red and she put her book aside.

Steve looked about ready to punch Tony. Natasha went to go get a cup of coffee, and when she came back, she found the two men still arguing.

“He needs a  _ prision _ ! What if he has a episode? What if he snaps?”

She glanced at Barnes, seeing he’d hunched himself over, like he was a small child afraid of the yelling. 

Finally, she snapped.  “Have  _ you _ ever had your entire life scrapped out of your brain?” Natasha’s voice was cold, and the two men turned to look at her. “Your mannerisms? Your family? Your dreams? Your  _ personality _ ?”

Tony looked like he was regretting his words. “Natasha-”

“All of it! Gone! Replaced with murder and anger. You know what he  _ doesn’t  _ need? More people calling him a monster.” Her green bored into Tony. “Find another person to blame for your parents death Tony.”

She ignored their shock, marching threw them and sitting next to Barnes. She held out the coffee she’d just gotten.

Barnes looked at the cup warily.

Natasha smiled gently, taking a sip of the coffee before taking his hand gently and curling it around the mug. “Drink.” Slowly, while eyeing her, he took a sip of the coffee. “Good?” 

When he took another drink, this one longer, Natasha smiled. 

“I’m Natasha. This is the Tower. You live here now.”


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha’s painting Clint’s fingernails a sparkly purple when Barnes stumbles into the kitchen, eyes wild. 

He seems startled to see them in the kicken, and seeing as it’s 3 in the morning, she can see how they look a bit weird; Natasha sitting on the counter top with Clint sitting on a bar stool in between her legs. 

They all stare at each other for a second, then she slides her coffee towards Barnes, going back to paining Clint’s nails.  Clint takes her que and goes back to rambling about this one annoying white mom that had called him ‘Bird Guy’ at Starbucks the other day.

Natasha laughs lightly at the story, making Clint flip her off. “It’s not funny!”

They fall back into silence.

“What are you doing?”

They both look up at Barnes, who looks much calmer now, slowly sipping the coffee from her mug. Natasha waves the small nail polish brush. “I’m painting Clint’s nails.”

Barnes shifts from foot to foot. “Isn’t that… I never thought that fellas could…”

Clint chuckles. “Well, now-a-days, anyone can really do anything. Genders don’t really have limits. Guys can wear dresses, paint their nails… hell you could even wear women’s lingerie!”

Natasha buries her head in her hands at Barnes’ shocked expression. “Don’t listen to him… He’s- he's stupid.”

Barnes seems to shake off his shock, looking at where Clint’s nails shimmered sparkly purple, shifting his weight again. She let him get to his words, doing another coat on Clint’s little finger. 

“Can- I- Well do you-...” Barnes looked frustrated with his stuttering, blurting out, “I want that.”

She nodded, finishing up the nail, before shoeing Clint off. “Okay. What color?”

He looked surprised at her willingness. “Do you... have red?”

“Red? _Of course_ I have red.” Natasha smiled at him. “Bold. I like it.” 

Patting the seat between her legs, the man hesitantly sat down. 

She noticed that the coffee cup in his left hand was empty, snapping her fingers. “Clint!’  She reached for the cup, but didn't take it from the man. After a second it was pushed into her hand and she held it out. “Get me coffee!”

Clint groaned from across the kitchen. “Whyyyy?”

“Because I put up with you.”

Grabbing the cup, the archer muttered under his breath as he poured another cup of coffee, shoving it in her hand. “You suck.”

"Mhmm. I know." She took a sip of the coffee before holding the cup out for Barnes.

There was silence as she started to paint his fingernails. 

It wasn’t until the mug was empty again that Barnes spoke up. “Why do you do that?”

She made a noise of confusion, not looking up.

“You take a sip of whatever you hand me before I drink it… No one else does that.”

Natasha looked up, keeping her face deceptively neutral as memories of the Red Room washed over her. She remembered being just as wary of everything once she got out too. “I’m wanted some coffee.”

They held eye contact and after a second he gave her a meaningful look. “Thank you.”

She shrugged, looking back down. “Sure.”

When morning came around and Tony stumbled into the kitchen, half awake with hair a mess, he froze when he saw them.

Clint had fallen asleep slumped on the counter, half eaten bagel laying next to him.  Barnes was sitting on the counter, nails blood red, and a smiling yellow sun painted on his arm next to a ladybug.  Natasha was sitting on the bar stool in front of Barnes, facing away as he ran his hands through her hair. 

“Good morning Tony.”

“You-... Why-...” Tony blinked, before shaking his head and stumbling past them. “I need coffee.”

Steve was up next, smiling at Barnes as he passed. “I like the nails Buck.”

The rest of the group slowly trickled in until they were all sitting and standing around the bar, Barnes having moved.  Steve sat down next to the man. “Here… It’s coffee.”  He handed the man the mug, and Barnes seemed to freeze, looking from Steve to the liquid. 

Natasha snatched the mug. “Excuse me. I think I need caffeine more than anyone here.” She took a big sip, sighing. “Ah, that's better. I actually feel a tiny bit alive.” Natasha slid the mug back to Barnes. “Sorry.”

Barnes smiled at her, taking a big drink of the liquid. She hid a smile behind her own mug that was filled with hot chocolate.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Natasha threatens this guy (mention of rape)

Natasha and Clint had both decided to tag along with Steve and Barnes to some art gallery when it came to her attention. 

Barnes was totally fine all morning, part of what prompted Steve to take him out onto the streets of New York, but once he got two blocks in to the trip, he started to look agitated.

Natasha continued talking with Clint, but slowly increased their pace until they were walking beside the other two, all four of them in a line. In between conversation with the archer, she looped her arm through Barnes’ and looked at him. “How’re you doing Soldier?”

Barnes looked a bit startled. “Fine.” 

She shrugged and continued talking to Clint about how Hawkeye didn’t have merchandise. Though, after another moment, Barnes relaxed a bit, and hooked onto her arm more.

Natasha notices later on that Barnes is fidgety, not even listening to Steve rant about painting techniques, and untangles her arm from his. 

He turns to look at her wildly, like she’d just left him stranded on an island, and she gives him a crooked smile, pulling her backpack off. After rooting around through her disguised weapons, she pulls out three chocolate bars and hands one to each of the men.

Steve eats a piece, chuckling. “Leave it to the super spy to know when we need to eat.”

“Every four minutes. Right Rogers?" Natasha casts him a look. "That’s the pace you eat things around the tower.” 

Steve grins at her.

She snags a third of Clint’s chocolate bar even as he tries to bat her away. “Back off, Bird-Guy, this chocolate bar was mine in the first place.”

Clint makes a noise of betrayal. “Etu Nat? How dare you use that insulting name against me! Are you not my friend? Are you not-” 

He’s waving his arms around so much that he doesn’t notice her slip the stolen chocolate to Barnes.

They make their way back to the Tower, stopping by a large park. Steve runs off with the purpose of getting them food and the three of them squish together on a park bench, listening to Clint go on a rant about how ‘dumb pigeons are’. 

Natasha thinks for a second that maybe staying up late with the archer and supplying him with caffeine every time he asked, _might_ have been a bad idea. 

She’s making plans in her head on how to trick Clint into falling asleep, when a commotion makes her look up. There’s a crowd around the hot dog stand, and she sighs before jogging over.

“Leave her alone!” Steve is standing in the middle of a crowd, hands on his hips, ball cap askew enough to show his face, and a frown on his lips. He’s making a show of standing in front of a woman who looks a little frightened, but also a little relieved.

Natasha tries to get through the crowd when a large body steps in front of her and starts shoving his way through, creating a path for her. 

She comes to stand by the woman, taking off her sunglasses, green eyes concerned and her face purposefully comforting.  “Hey. Are you alright?” Her voice is soft, mostly covered up by Steve’s argument with a tall man, but the woman nods slightly.

“He was grabbing at me. Telling me to come with him.” The woman’s voice shakes. “I- I thought that-” She breaks off, sobbing, and Natasha carefully wraps the woman in a hug.

“She’s my girlfriend! I have every right to-” 

The man’s words are cut off with a choking noise and Natasha looks up to see Barnes holding him in the air with one arm wrapped around his throat. “Shut your mouth.”

Steve goes to intercept Barnes, but Natasha instead pulls him back and makes him hold the sobbing woman. The blonde man fumbles for a second before wrapping his arms around the woman and rubbing her back softly.

Natasha strides over to Barnes, tapping him on the shoulder.

Cold eyes stare at her.

“Could you let him down please?”

Nothing. Just a glare towards the man who's currently running out of air.

“Okay. Trade?” She holds out a chocolate bar. Something, some spark of recognition, of life filters back into the Barnes’ eyes. He drops the man and takes the candy bar. “Good. Y’know... you’re grumpy when you’re hungry…” 

Amused eyes look at her from above where Barnes is munching on the chocolate.

The man groans from the ground and she extends a hand. “Sorry for my friend. He gets kinda violent when he’s hungry.”

“What the fuck kind of excuse is-” The man finally looks at her, blinking, before a slimy smile slides on his lips. “Well sweetheart, I can let this go, but you might have to let me buy you a drink.”

Natasha can feel eyes on her and she smiles sweetly. “I don’t drink with creeps. But thank you.” She digs her fingernails into the hand she helped him up with, pulling him down to her level, grunt of pain coming from his mouth. 

She puts her lips to his ear, voice dangerous.  “If you ever touch that woman, or any woman, without their  _ explicit permission _ again, I will find you. I will drag your body into a darkened alleyway and I will tie you up, so all the people lurking in the dark can  _ use  _ you. So you can know what this woman might have felt. So you can never touch another person without feeling dirty hands touching you.”

She let him go, and he stumbled back, face white.  “Okay?” Her voice was sweet again.

The man nodded quickly, pushing himself through the crowd and away from them.

Barnes looked at her curiously, chocolate bar already gone. “What did you say?”

Natasha smiled and used her sleeve to wipe a smudge of chocolate off his cheek. “Nothing much. Just a little story.” She glanced at Clint who was tapping at his phone. “Did you get it?”

Clint nodded. “SHIELD has been informed of a possible rapist by the name of Keith Roberts. If he tries anything we’ll know.”

“Good.” Her smile was cruel. “I _really_ want to pay him back.”

“Hey guys? A little help here?” They looked to where Steve had his baseball cap knocked off and people were swarming him. 

Barnes grinned. “Punk.”

She shook her head. “Come on. Let's go save Captain America from being torn apart by fans.”

 

“So do you do that often?”

Natasha moves her book out of the way, meeting icy blue eyes. She’s laying across the sofa, her head in Clint’s lap as the man sleeps soundly. “Do what?”

“Intercept crimes. Give SHIELD names.”

She shrugs. “We’ve all stopped crimes off the clock. Most of the others just expose who they are and the bad guys go running.”

Barnes looks thoughtful at that. “You really have become a hero.”

Natasha wants to ask what he means by that, but he’s already walking away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, please note that just because you might be dating someone that it is not any right of yours to assume consent.  
> Sorry, just had to put that out there.  
> ❤❤ Hope you like it! ❤❤


	4. Chapter 4

Natasha digs her hands into Tony’s back. She’s giving him a massage after he collapsed, whining about his day full of meetings and dealing with the press. Pepper had made the man do this for not doing his paperwork. 

“You should just do your paperwork on time. Stop playing fate.”

“No way.” Tony scoffs, face smushed into the carpet. “It’s way too much fun to annoy her.”

“One day she’s going to stab you with her high heel... One of the ones you bought her.”  Natasha digs her palm into a knot and the man hisses. “You know, you could just get your kicks elsewhere, so Pepper doesn’t have to murder you. You and I both know that she’ll ask me for payback on a favor I owe her and then I’ll have to make your death look like an accident.”

“Oh? What favor did you ask?”

Natasha freezes for a second, before continuing to sooth Tony’s achy muscles. “Nothing of importance.”

Tony turns his head to side-eye her. “You froze. What was it? Tell me or I ask her.”

Natasha frowns. “I had her take down a few… websites.”

“About?”

After pressing her hand into one of the really bad knots, she speaks up. “They were sites dedicated to Black Widow. Pictures of me with the team and... other stuff... Pepper agreed that it should be taken down, but now I owe her.” 

Natasha stood up from Tony’s back, and the man stood, stretching. 

“You should know better than to owe Pepper.” He chuckled, but then paused, a sparkle coming to his eyes. “But you know… that’s not a bad idea...”

She narrowed her eyes. “Stark-”

“Thanks for the back rub! I have to go talk to a guy!” Tony grinned, racing off.

They were all sitting around, chinese takeout boxes littered on the table, when Tony leaned forward. “I have a proposition.” 

He glanced at her and she scowled, not liking it already. 

“The Avengers have merchandise... and some of us have been claiming that they don’t have enough recognition, so I found a- a thing.”

Clint grinned. “Finally! Hawkeye action figures!”

Tony looked at them all, face serious but eyes laughing. “You wanna make an Avengers calendar? It would be great publicity, plus some of the proceeds could go to charity?”

Steve smiled, all bright and patriotic. “That’s a wonderful idea Tony!”

Tony grinned. “Great! We already have a studio set up and everything!

 

They find out a week later that it’s a photo shoot all right. A (semi) nude photo shoot.

Natasha is reaching for her knives, Clint barely getting to her before she slices Tony’s throat. His arms wrapped around her, holding her back as she snarls at the billionaire. “Nat, Natasha calm down. It’s for charity.”

She clenches her jaw, hands clenched around her knives and eyes burning holes in Tony, who scrambled to hide behind Steve. “I’m going to kill him.” She takes a deep breath, looking at her partner with pleading eyes. “It’s Belgrave all over again. I can’t- I won’t-” she drops her knives, clutching at her chest as her breath comes out short.

“Tasha- Tasha just breath. No one will touch you… It’s not gonna be like Belgrave.” 

Natasha’s not listening, her ears seeming to close up as her breath grows more and more frantic.  She hears a shout and then Clint is pressing something to her ear. 

“Natasha.”  She knows that voice.  “Natasha, come back to us. You’re in a warehouse in New York. It’s sunny out. Melina May is glaring at me and Clint is probably wearing purple underpants. Maybe. He was wearing them last night when we talked.”

She tries to chuckle but her breath is coming out short. “Coul- Coulson.”

“Hey Natasha. You okay?”

She maganges a weak smile. “Better than Budapest.”

Coulson laughs, responding with the, “What a shit show,” that all of Team Delta automatically responded with. “You better not be anywhere _close_ to Budapest or I’ll come kill Clint for not taking care of you.”

Natasha’s breath is slowing. She chuckles. “I bet he would like that too much.” Clint whips his head up to stare at her from where he’s sitting, his eyes wide. She just grins at him. “We miss you.” 

“I miss you too, Ballerina. Tell that fucking archer he better take care of you… and give him a hug for me.” Coulson’s voice is remorseful. “I need to go, but if you need me I’ll be there.”

The phone call ends.

She looks at Clint. “I still don’t like it.”

Clint wisely doesn’t ask what Coulson and her were talking about. “It’s not Belgrave. You’re here. With the team. We’ll make sure that never happens again.”

Natasha can feel eyes on her. She straightens up, raises her chin, pride warring out over her emotions. “Fine, but anyone touches me and I will snap every one of their fingers, one at a time.” 

The photography crew nods quickly, faces afraid.

“Tony better buy us food after this,” Clint grumbles from behind her. “I waxed my chest; I deserve food.”

Tony just snorts, waving his hand. "Yeah, sure Hawk-guy. We'll get food after this."

"It's hawkEYE not hawkGUY!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got the idea from Avengers Naked Calendar 2016 by foxfireflamequeen  
> Go check it out!


	5. Chapter 5

Tony’s the January photo. 

He keeps on his boxers, low hanging and showing off his abs, one of his hands raised with the gauntlet on it glowing blue. 

Natasha sits next to Clint on a sofa and sips a iced tea. Barnes is perched on the arm of the sofa, glaring at anyone who comes near her. It’s unnecessary, but it makes her feel nice whenever he does it, so she doesn’t stop him.

“What do you have when you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball in your right hand?” Clint starts. 

Everyone in the photography team ignores him. 

“Hulk’s penis infront of your face.” Clint says loudly.

Bruce and Steve sigh deeply, but Natasha sees Tony snort, his smile a little more genuine.

Clint gets to go next with February. He’s handed an intricately carved wooden bow and some arrows. 

Natasha chuckles at his face. The bow is hot pink and the arrow tips are little hearts.

“No. Nope. I’m not being some messed up cupid!”

They all ignore rant. He’s naked, so it’s hard to take him seriously. A woman tries to tie a little white cloth around his waist, but Clint’s too wiggly. 

Natasha stands, putting a hand on the woman’s shoulder and taking the cloth. “Clint, shut up. If you do this I’ll ask Pepper to get you action figures.” She pulls him close. “Now don’t move.” 

She ties the cloth off, arranging it so it covers everything non-photographable.

Clint looks from the bow and arrows to her. “Fine. For the action figures.”

The shoot goes smoothly, but the crew asks her to talk to the man whenever he looks too constipated. She ends up re-telling one of the funnier memories of their missions, making him laugh while they shoot the photos. 

The photographer sighs when Clint falls off the green block he’s on, laughing too hard.

Natasha gives the man a sheepish smile, going to help Clint up.

For March, Natasha watches one of the ladies on the makeup team try to arrange flowers to cover Clint’s penis.  Natasha helps out by telling jokes and everytime Clint laughs, flowers move to reveil his dick. 

The woman sighs. A lot.

“Are you sure you don’t want him to just wear some type of flower-print thong? It’s be easier.” Natasha asks. Clint snickers, making the flowers shift again.

The lady looks like she’s about to kill Clint. 

When a different woman starts to come at her with flowers, she glares the woman into backing up and hands Sam the flowers with puppy dog eyes. The man sighs. “Really Nat? Not even her?” Natasha shrugs and lets him stick flowers in the fancily braided hair that Pepper had done for her this morning in exchange for a foot massage.

When he’s done she heaves a full body sigh, like it can expel her nerves. “Let’s get this over with.” She pulls her hoodie off, undoing her belt.

“Miss- We have changing rooms if you want…”

Snorting, she drops her belt to the floor. “You’re all gonna see me naked anyway. Might as well just get it done.”

Tony claps from where he stole her seat on the couch, drinking her iced tea. “Woo! Give us a show!”

Natasha glares at him, making Tony flinch back. “Don’t test me Stark.” 

When she’s properly naked and she can feel every eye on her like a hot poker, She sits next to Clint and lets him arrange flowers so they cover all the modesty she’s supposed to have.

Clint and her are supposed to be a weird version of Adam and Eve for the photo, because apparently everyone in the universe thought they were a couple, so they sit on a picnic blanket together. Naked. Covered in flowers.

_ She was going to skin Tony Stark.  _

At least Coulson would get a kick out of the photo.

So after she gets flowers put all over her, Clint and her trade cheesy jokes, feeding each other strawberries. 

After the photographer is convinced he got the right shots, Natasha throws the flowers covering her at Clint. “I hate flowers.”

Clint snorts as he stands and brushes the flowers off himself, pulling on sweatpants. “I should know. Remember the first time you got shot and I got you flowers? You fucking attacked me!”

She grins, taking the man’s hand and pulling herself up. “Oh yeah. That was funny.”

“It was not! You-”

“Miss?” A smaller woman steps up to them. Clearly Natasha’s threats have slightly lost their power after she got covered in flowers and laughed at Clint’s bad puns. “You’re in the next shot. Here you go.”

Natasha gets clothing shoved her way and holds them up, blood freezing in her veins. “No.” She stares at the black bodysuit in horror. “No.”

Clint steps to her side instantly. “Natasha. We’re in New York. Breath. I’m right here.”

“Miss we need-” The woman starts to push.

“She said no.” Barnes’ voice is dangerous as he stands from where he’s been brooding.

The woman paled. “Oh. S-sorry sir.” She took back the fabric quickly and stepped back. “I’ll see what the costume person has.”

Natasha relaxes slightly when the woman is gone, turning to Barnes and ignoring the fact the rest of the others are looking at her. “Thank you. It’s-”

“I think we all know what the effects of trauma look like.” Tony is looking down at hands. “So… what happened?”

She grabbed her hoodie off the floor, wrapping it around her naked body. “Scoot.” 

Tony slid over and she sunk into the sofa. The group had gone silent, all of them watching her from their various positions around the small space off camera. 

“I was on a solo honeypot mission. Get into this party, find the target and seduce him for information. Simple. I’d done it before too many times to count.” She left out the part where she was supposed to kill him.

Steve, Bruce, Tony, and Sam looked uncomfortable while Barnes was glaring at the wall. 

“Well I got in alright. I was dressed like-” She laughed shortly. “-Like a playboy bunny. I got to the target easily but- but he was waiting for me. Apparently there was a rat in my network and the man knew who I was. He decided to drug me, because he and his…  _ buddies  _ thought I was too pretty to kill.”

Natasha glanced at Clint, who was entirely tense muscles. She could tell he was seeing her in his head, bruised and tied to the bed, crying. She reached over, slipping her hand in his, knowing from his face that he was drowning in his guilt.

“Are they dead?” Barnes’ voice was rough.

Clint looked up at that and grinned, all teeth and sharpness that made the others blink. “I made sure of it. All of them payed for their sins.”

The group went silent.

Tony cleared his throat, standing up. “Excuse me.”

Natasha was curled into Clint when Tony came back, dressed like a chippendales dancer, black tie, white cuffs, and black spandex. He was wearing bunny ears.

Clint did a wolf whistle as Sam laughed.

Stark just winked at Natasha. “You owe me another of those back massages, Red. I have a business trip to London coming up, per Pepper being irritated with me.”

“You never learn. You’re not  _ supposed  _ to poke the dragon.” She laughed. “I’ll allow it, if only to see you in that, Stark. I am  _ so  _ objectifying you.”

Tony took a basket of brightly colored eggs, posing for the Aprill shoot.

Next up are Steve and Barnes, and when no one will get close enough to Barnes to fix his messy hair, Natasha stands up, pulling out a bar of chocolate. “Come on Soldier. It’s not that bad. Atleast you don’t have to dress up like a bunny.”

Barnes eyes the photography crew as he takes the chocolate bar. “You do it.”

She runs her hands through the man’s hair. “Sure thing sugar plum. Want it in a sexy man bun or loose and wild?”

“Bun.”

Natasha nods, grabbing a brush. “You got it comrade.”

Steve is laid out on a platform, American flag wrapped around him, with Barnes standing behind him in only army pants. A woman hands Natasha dog tags and she puts them around his neck.

“I don’t like this.”

Natasha gives him a sympathetic look. “I know. It’s humiliating. What can I do to help make this worthwhile? There’s hot chocolate?”

Barnes pauses. “The arm hurts.”

She gives him an amused look. “You wanna massage like Stark?” He nods quickly. “Okay then. It’s a deal.”

Steve looks up at her with his big blue puppy dog eyes. “Can I have hot chocolate?” 

“Yeah. It’s right over there.” She points to the table, not moving. She's immune to the man's eyes. _Ha. Take that._ “You have legs.”

She stands next to the camera, making funny faces to try to get the men to smile. But it’s only when Clint picks her up suddenly, making her hit him in the crotch, that Barnes cracks a smile.

The photographer claps. “Perfect! May’s a wrap!”

Clint groans on the floor, curled up. “At what cost? My penis?”

Natasha kicks him softly. “You’re as bad as Stark. Don’t poke dragons.”

They’re taking a break when loud boom crashes from outside and Thor strides in, fully decked out in his armor. “Sorry my friends. I have been with my Lady Jane, but she’s given me permission to do this photo thing friend Stark talked of.”

Instantly three different women are fussing over the god. He’s basically stripped of his armor, put in a swimsuit and handed a surfboard.

Natasha whistles. “Oh I am  _ definitely  _ objectifying  _ that _ .”

Clint gapes. “You and me both… how many abs does he  _ have _ ?”

“I should go count…” She grins, sipping a glass of wine that she’d scared a crew guy into getting for her.

Thor grins at the camera and the shoot is done in minutes. He crashes down next to Natasha, still shirtless. “Hello friend Natasha!”

She smiles at him. “Thor.”

“You are in a state of undress… is that on purpose?” 

Natasha bumps shoulder with the god. “When i’m naked there's always a purpose.”

Thor’s laugh is booming.

Steve is up to bat again, sitting down with his legs spread, shield only just covering up his junk.

The crew is getting together the means to shower the man in fireworks. Natasha tilts her head at the man in fascination. “How big is your penis? Did the serum enhance that too?” 

“Wouldn't you like to know.” Steve winks at her while all the other Avengers seems to choke on their own tongues.

“Maybe....” She’s grinning, while Clint (who's sitting next to her) is most definitely not.

The crew gets the fireworks up and working and the picture is leaking with so much patriotism and she nearly chokes.

Steve grins at her. “Too much America for you Romanoff?”

Gagging, she fake faints. 

Clint stands up, waving his arms. “Russian spy down! Help! Someone start reading the communist manifesto!”

“Союз нерушимый республик свободных...” They all look at Barnes, who is singing the Soviet National Anthem, lips quirked up. 

He finishes, and Natasha sits up, fake gasping. “I can breath again! Thank you Mother Russia!”

Steve rolls his eyes, muttering about ‘damn communists’ under his breath.

Natasha’s August, and when she goes to get dressed Clint grins at her. “Have fun.”  She glares at him.

When she comes back in what looks like a cross between a sailor and a schoolgirl’s uniform, Clint chokes on the water he’s drinking. “Coulson is going to  _ love  _ this.”

She growls, pulling at the edge of the skirt. “I feel ridiculous.”

“You look stunning Natasha.” Bruce is looking up from his book for the first time all day. “You’ll be fine.”

Natasha rolls her eyes, getting into position. She’s sitting on a desk, lips curved up sexily.

She notices some of the men on the crew getting a little starry eyed and grabs a ruler off the desk, hitting it against the desk. “Pay attention! We don’t have all day!” 

They work faster, but she notices some of the men are walking a little awkwardly, chuckling to herself.

When they tell her they got the shots they want, she rips the uniform off, throwing her hoodie back on and sitting back down next to Clint. He shakes his head. “You’re evil. I think you broke some of them.”

She shrugs. “I’m good at what I do.” Barnes looks at her with such intensity she feels the need to add, “-What I used to do.”

Thor gets attacked by women again. This time they’re layering him with furs, and he has paint smeared on his cheeks like a viking.

Natasha watches the fawning of the woman with a detached curiosity. “I wonder if they know that’s not the way to go.” 

Clint looks at her. 

“You have to hit him with your car for him to like you. I know this from a firsthand source.”

“That’s one weird relationship.” Clint shakes his head.

She glares at him. “You were sent to  _ kill  _ me.”

“So?”

Tony looks at her from where he’s watching Steve sketch. “You need a hobby, Romonoff.”

Sam looks up from where he’s playing Candy Crush on his phone. “Hobbies are actually really good for therapy and letting out stress."

Natasha glares at both of them. Traitors. “I have a hobby.”

Tony snorts. “Being permanently bored and killing people aren’t hobbies.”

She smiles thinly at the man. “Watch it Stark. I still haven’t forgiven you for this whole thing…”

The billionaire gulps and scoots further away from her.

They really want to capture Sam working out for October.

The entirety of the Avengers are sitting, (mostly) clothed, watching Sam punch a bag. 

"Good good. Now hit the bag with your left arm, face turned like this..."

Sam's frowning. He hates it when people tell him how to fight, especially if they're not even trained.

"Now stop frowning and just relax."

“Yeah Sam,” Natasha grins at him. “Relax while you're trying to look like you're punching something.”

Sam frowns deeper, muscles clenching up.

“Ma'am,” one of the crew eyes her. “Please don’t make this harder.”

She rolls her eyes, going back to watching the photographer try to get Sam to look like he's naturally fighting, without the fighting. Natasha should have brought popcorn.

“Relax, Sam,” Bruce calls, always the level-headed one. “Think peaceful thoughts.”

“Not working." Sam growls.

Natasha sighs, going up and holding the bag for him, in only her unzipped hoodie. "Go on. Hit it."

"We need him to be still..." 

She glares the man into silence.

Sam hits the bag, relaxing into his normal training. She nods. "Good. Now slow it down. Still hit, but make your movements fluid."

Eventually the photographer gets the shot he wants, and Sam immediately goes back to his phone, muttering under his breath.

November is sitting in a suit, reading a book by a fireplace, his messy tie and slightly unbuttoned shirt the only thing hinting at sex appeal.

Bruce flat-out refused to undress, but agreed to a couple photos for charity. S o Bruce just calmly did what he’d been doing for the last few hours: reading.

Natasha thought it was a good photo shoot, but she noticed a lot of the women crew were frowning, probably hoping to see Bruce in some type of undress. She smirked viciously.

Clint hit her shoulder. “Stop it. We’re not killing anyone.”

Natasha rolls her eyes. "You're no fun."

"No." Was Barnes' only answer.

“We’d also like you to have Black Widow on your lap."

Natasha's lips turn down. Barnes doesn’t want his metal arm photographed more than once, and it'd already been shot. 

Plus, her on his lap? How many people were just _that desperate_ to see her naked?

“Bucky it's not that bad. Nat will cover the arm.” Steve tries to bargain with the man.

“No.” Barnes says and storms away.

Natasha shakes her head at Steve. “Let me.”

Barnes is outside, staring off into the distance when she finds him.  "Don't you want to have me on your lap? I heard it's something most guys dream of."

 

“I'm not most guys.” His eyes are heavy when they settle on her

She can't even touch that with a ten foot stick, so she changes the subject. “You should do it. If the public sees you around the team then they'll be less afraid. More likely to accept you.”

"Does it look like I care?"

 

Natasha watches him for a second. "It would matter to me, to the team."

Barnes is silent for another minute before he walks back inside, and she follows him after a second.

Natasha is put in a red backless dress, seated facing away from the camera on the arm of a fancy chair, Barnes in a suit looking up at her. Her hand is dipped into where the dress shirt is unbuttoned, and his arm is covered.

She'd call it a success if it didn't leave her with shivers. Damn Barnes' dark eyes.

 

 

The last one is the group shot, the main photo. 

It’s the easiest for her, as she’s clothed in her leather uniform and just has to look serious. The others, however, are all butt naked and complaining. Someone elbows someone else in the dick accidentally, which starts a punchy game of ‘tag’.

The photo’s supposed to be Black Widow, sexy and alluring, sitting in a throne with the Avengers all naked and standing around her like a team of bodyguards.

It turned out to be her sitting, Bruce and Barnes on the arms of her chair, the three of them watching the other five play fighting in front them. All the penises are blurred out.

She found she actually quite liked it. 

However the photography team likes them even less when they have to sign a multitude of Non Disclosure Agreements. God forbid the general public find out that Steve isn't all that naive, Clint tells horrible jokes, and Natasha likes to threaten and/or annoy the people around her when she’s bored.

Apparently the calender sold like crazy, with so many people were loving the centerfold, talking about how it looked like they were fighting for her. She a ton of people on the internet are talking about her shots with Clint, and the rumor is that she’s dating half the team.

Natasha snorts and tells Clint, who relays it to Coulson.

She knows the suited man has a copy of the calendar on his wall. She's the one who sent it to him. 

Natasha’s not one to say anything though. All of the pictures, separated from the actual calendar, are pasted up on her bedroom wall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, go check out Avengers Naked Calendar 2016 by foxfireflamequeen  
> That's where I got the idea for this chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

Natasha got a hobby.

Sam can shut up with his bullshit, being a youtuber _is_ a hobby.

She has a thousand followers within an hour of her first video: Clint eating a Oreo she gave him and then throwing it off the balcony of the tower when he realizes it’s filled with toothpaste.

He turns on her, face pinched. “Natasha!” The video ends when he launches himself at her.

Her second video is of Thor eating one of the same Oreos and smiling like a dope. “What is this mistiness? It’s delectable!”

 

Apparently everyone wants more of the Avengers just acting like normal foolish humans and she becomes youtube famous practically overnight.

One of the favorite videos so far is when she puts salt into Barnes’ coffee instead of sugar secretly, and he takes a sip, making a face. She expects him to set it aside, but he narrows his eyes directly at where she’s filming, downing the cup. He slams it down, grin dangerous. “Don’t test me Widow.”

The next day someone tags her in a fanart drawing of Bucky and Natasha kissing.

She saves the picture before showing Clint.

 

After a particularly long battle with slimy sea creatures, they all decide to have a party. Thor brings out the Asgardian liquor and almost instantly Clint, Tony, and Sam are drunk. Steve gets drunk slower.

Natasha sits at the bar, watching Clint profess his love for Barnes.

“You’re just- Just so beautiful!” Clint cries, hanging off the man, who just looks like he wants to throw himself off the balcony. “You’re my hero! You’re a legend among the agents… And that hair…”

He tries to reach for Barnes’ hair and Natasha sees the glint in the soldier’s eyes, stepping in front of Clint. “Hey there handsome. Come here often?”

Clint laughs, sultry grin falling short and making her smile even more. “I doooo.”

Natasha chuckles, guiding him to the middle of the living room and tapping his hip when he slumps on her. “Come on Clinton. Stand up straight.” Clint's eyes suddenly come into focus, standing at attention, and she wouldn’t be able to see he’s drunk if she didn’t know him. He’s in his serious mode used for missions. She starts guiding them in a simple waltz. “Remember Latvia?”

Clint nods, smiling a tad too wide. “I remember that leotard you wore, all black and satiny. Those ballet shoes that had those criss-cross straps up to your calves.” His eyes are suddenly darker.

She slaps his arm. “Save it for Coulson. He always wants to hear those details. I want you to focus on the dance.” She steps away from him, takes off her sweatshirt, leaving herself in only a sports bra, yoga pants, and flats.

“The ballet dance you taught me. Swan Lake.” Clint’s eyes focus a bit more on her, the same glint in his eyes when he was aiming for a target and she shivers.

Natasha grins, pushing aside the furniture. “Come on Clinton. You did it before with two bullet wounds and a bottle of wine messing with your head.” She gets into position. “Jarvis? Play the Entrée and Adage from Swan Lake.”

Music starts playing, a soft instrumental that makes her nod.

The world falls away the second he lifts her into the air the first time. She’s here, hands ready to catch her if she falls, a warm body in complete coordination with her. It’s her version of a high, and when he sets her down from the final elevated spin, she’s out of breath, cheeks flushed.

Clint laughs, turning to the others, back to his drunk self. “Another drink!”

Thor’s cheer is more like a battle cry.

She turns to the others, her breathing slowing, lips in a real smile. “Anyone else wanna dance?”

Bruce stands, looking at her with a soft smile. “May I?”

Natasha holds out her hand. “Of course.” A loud Latin song came on over the speakers and she grinned. Come on, Doctor, lets dance.”

It was a easy salsa, but it made Bruce smile like he was somewhere else.

She put a hand on his arm when the song ended, lowering her voice. “Where were you?”

“I took salsa classes with… with Betty.”

Natasha cringed internally at the name of Bruce’s old girlfriend. “She’d be happy that you’re using those classes.”

Bruce nodded, cleared his throat, and stepped away. “Thank you.” He went back to his bar-tending.

Natasha grinned at Tony. “Come on, Anthony, I know you can waltz.”

“And _how_ do you know that?”

“Come on Stark. You waltzed with Pepper two years ago at one of your charity galas.”

“Only you would know that.” Grinning, Tony stood from his chair and snapped twice. “J put on Thousand Years.”  The song came on and he took her hand, spinning her in close. “So this is what you like to do.”

“You caught me. I like to dance with billionaires.”

Tony laughed as they glided across the floor. He dipped her, whispering. “I can work with that.”  Before she could ask, they were going into a series of spins. She was laughing by the time the song finished, the sound ringing out around them.

Stark bowed. “Always a pleasure.”

When he stepped away, Sam was there. “You dance any modern styles?”

“Well actually...” Natasha smiles. “I do a good shuffle, and my pop and locking is okay-”

“You should see her belly dance! That one time in Dubai with the-”

“Clinton.” The man stopped talking instantly. She glared at him before turning back to Sam. “Anything really.”

“You know how to shuffle? Let's do it.”

“You're on.”

Saome horribly electronic but catchy as hell song comes on and she grins, starting to dance. She and Sam dance together for a bit, before taking turns going back and forth devolving into other styles of dance, until she starts to twerk and Sam waves his hands, shutting the music off. “You win! I can't beat that! Defeat!”

She laughs and gives him a fist bump.

When she turns back to the others, Clint and Tony are whispering to each other, eyes on her and she narrows her eyes at them. They both take sips of their drink, faces guilty.

A hand extends to her. “May I?”

Natasha looks up at Steve. “You may. What're we gonna do?”

“You ever done swing before?”

She smiles at Clint. “I've had a few goes at it. Try me.”

“JARVIS, some swing music if you may.” An upbeat song starts and Steve steps up, taking her hands. “Ready?”

“Always.”

It was fun, fast, and it felt like her blood was on fire. Steve was smiling and laughing, the other guys clapping along in the background to the beat.

Eventually, Clint stepped up, and smoothly she was passed off. Clint caught her. “Cuba?”

Natasha grinned, stepping away from him. “Jarvis? Play ‘Havanna’.”

They did the choreography, and when Clint exited off to the side, she grinned. “That was the que.”

“Coulson didn’t let me off the hook for botching that mission for at _least_ a month!”

Natasha laughed, stopping her dancing. “I had to go chase him down! He had a vest on!”

“Well it wasn’t my fault. I _didn't_ miss, unlike what Coulson says.”

She rolled her eyes.

“You up for one more dance, doll?” Barnes stepped forward, eyes dark.

“What’re we doing sugar?”

He faltered, the look on his face unsure for a second and she stepped forward, taking his cool metal hand in her warm one, placing it on her waist and taking his other hand in hers. “We can start really slow. No need to go fast. I’m not going anywhere.”

She laid her head on his chest and they started swaying back and forth.

“I’m sorry.”

Natasha made a noise of disagreement. “It’s not your fault you don’t remember.”

“I do.”

She looked up at him.

“I remember that little girl with the red hair, how she never spoke, but would always sneak me pieces of her food. How she would sing Russian lullabies to calm me down so they could wipe me, and how much they hated her for having that ability but never stopped commanding her to do it. That time we almost escaped and she was dragged away from me crying. Natalia. I remember Natalia- but I guess they call you Natasha now.”

They’d stopped, Natasha’s stomach dropping to her feet.

Barnes looked at her with unreadable eyes. “I finally found my little red ballerina.”

She was out of the room before anyone could say another word.

 

When in times of great unease she found herself in Clint’s nest, hidden away in the most obscure part of the vent system. She only moved from where she was curled up under a large blanket when her phone went off, and she checked it, seeing @TStark had posted a video. 

Natasha clicked on it, seeing her dance with each of the avengers except Thor. The video ended right before Bucky had started talking, and there was a question in bold letters. “WHO DOES THE BLACK WIDOW LOOK BEST WITH? VOTE NOW!”

_ She decided she was going to kill Tony in his sleep. _

Looking at the polls, she saw that the two tied for first place were Clint and Barnes, with Clint pulling ahead by 2%.

“Looks like everyone is at it again.”

Natasha tensed slightly. “You need a fucking bell… remind me to get you a dog collar that jingles.”

Clint laughed, crawling in the pile of blankets next to her. “You’ve been at terms with your past for ages Nat. Why run now?”

She looked at him. “When I got with you and Coulson I had accepted that James would never come back. Seeing him again… I don’t know what to do.” Natasha looked at the man with pained eyes. “I can’t- I can’t choose between my past and you. You know that.”

The archer nodded. “Then be selfish and don’t choose. Look i’m not happy with sharing you, especially with Coulson not around, but i’ll be fine. You don’t have to let either of us go.”

Natasha wrapped herself around the man. “I miss that grumpy suit.”

Clint sighed. “Me too.”


	7. Chapter 7

Before she could talk to Barnes, the alarm was going off and she was getting suited up. 

Apparently some villain group was terrorizing New York again. Typical.

Natasha was out on the battlefield when one of the goons said something that had her vision going fuzzy. She fought to stand, but when the man repeated the word, she was falling. 

Her head hit the pavement as someone yelled “Natasha!”

The last thought that crossed her mind was,  _ ‘Who’s Natasha?’ _

Blank eyes open and quickly scan the room. White walls, medical equipment that’s too advanced for her to know how to operate but easy enough to turn into weapons, bright lights, and a few people wandering around in lab coats.

She sits up slowly, feeling her head throb for a second before she blocks the pain out. 

None of the lab technicians spare her more than a glance.

She brushes them off as non-threatening, but still makes sure to know where each of them are just in case. 

And she waits.

Someone should be here soon to give her a mission, instructions. But as the time drags on, she wonders if she was being tested, if she was supposed to figure out something from her surroundings.

So she catalogues everything she notices for later, when Madame will ask.

She’s been sitting on the chair for thirty minutes, the lab technicians already moved on... when doubt hits her. Someone should have been for her by now. A handler, Madame, someone.  Unless she failed, but that would mean decommission. That would mean that the next person that came in would be coming for her blood to be spilled on the white floors, and she would have disappointed Madame Headmistress.

She’s spiraling deeper, when a voice shocks her out of her thoughts. 

“Thought you’d have broken someone’s arm trying to get out of here by now.” A blonde man that she’s never seen before but who seems to recognize her is standing by the edge of the bed, bruises littering his body. “Waited for me to come rescue you? How sweet. I should tell Coulson, he’ll never believe it.” 

This must be some type of test, to see if she can blend in. Natalia shoots a shy smile at him, the same she’s used to overthrow countless political figures, diplomats, and dignitaries. “What can I say? I wanted you to be here.”

The man looks at her for a second, before he’s coming at her and she can barely defend herself. The man’s first strike whooshing inches away from where she’d been. The man backs her into a corners, and pins her to the wall, hand slowly cutting off her air. 

She gasps and as her brain loses oxygen, she hears a commotion. 

“What are you doing? Get off her!”

But the man holding her is resolute, calm as he cuts off the last of her air. “Natasha’s been compromised.”

She flicked her eyes open, seeming to startle the people watching her. Looking down, she found that she was bound to a steel chair, thick durable cords winding around her. She tested them, internally frowning at the lack of movement she had.  She was in real trouble. Not only had her cover been blown, but she’d been either taken by another organization or she was going to be put down.

A group of men watched her from places around the room, and the blonde standing to the back of the room, tense, spoke up. “Who are you?”

She looked the man over. He had military training, like the man next to him, and the room seemed to look to him. So he was the leader.

Not answering seemed to make the man frustrated, and he clenched his jaw, stepping forward, but the dark-skinned man next to him was laying a hand on his shoulder. “Steve.” She watched the big man deflate, and the two men leave the room.

_ Maybe she’d been wrong? _

“What’s your name?” 

Glancing at the man who’d blown her cover, she swept her eyes over the rest of the room and then froze in her chair, all her muscles tensing as she saw the man lounging on a large chair like it was his throne. The Winter Soldier.

The dark eyes of the man seemed to cut right to her soul. 

She immediately lowered her eyes. So she was being punished. Taunted with the one person that would’ve tried to help her. He must have been wiped again, told she was a traitor.

_ Was he going to kill her? _

Bile rose up in her throat and she focused on the conversatiotion around her to keep from throwing up.

The beat-up man with messy blonde hair was speaking. “-stuck in the red room. Fury said that she’d probably have an activation word, but it never showed up ‘till now...” All the eyes in the room turned to her. “Natasha’s not there anymore. That's Natalia Romanova.” 

She flinched at the mention of her name and ruled out the red room. They never allowed use of names unless it was during missions. 

Somehow a new group, one she knew nothing about, had taken control of the Winter Soldier and abducted her. 

She was in deep shit.

The man, Clint, stayed in the room with her, along with the Winter Soldier when everyone else left. With only the two men she allowed herself to relax a bit, hoping she looked weak and defenseless enough, even going so far as to make her voice shaky. “What do you want… Is this a test?”

“Natalia. Stop that.” The command was cold, and she flinched. The Soldier had never spoken to her like that except when he was angry, when she’d done something stupid.

She looked up at the blonde, hoping he would be easier to manipulate. “What do you want to know? Is this about the Red Room?”

Clint just frowned. “Natalia, what’s your favorite movie?”

She blinked. _Movie? She wasn’t allowed to see movies._

When she didn’t answer, the man moved on to other questions. How she drank her coffee, who Pepper was, her favorite Avenger, what she’d done for her last birthday, ect.

And Natalia stayed silent, not having an answer to any of his questions. 

Eventually he gave up, just staring at her.

She avoided the two gases, watching the clock tick away time, wondering when she would take her last breath.

 

When the four hour mark had passed and the blonde had gone to get food again, she scowled at both of them. “Why don’t you get it done with. Don’t you have places to be?”

Clint blinked, momentarily lost, but the Soldier stood fluently and she found herself regretting her impatience as the man stalked up to her. But he only stood in front of her, muscles tense and face blank. “Natalia. We are disappointed.”

She sucked in a breath. She knew it.

“Why don’t you tell us why you failed.”

Nodding, she leveled her breathing and started her debrief in a monotone voice. “Fail to notice a target. Fail to maintain persona. Fail to remove target. Fail to maintain consciousness. Fail to block emotions. Fail to escape capture. Fail to recognize threat. Fail to manipulate target.”

The soldier nodded, face carefully blank. “You have not failed for quite some time. What do you think is the punishment?”

She felt her blood run cold, but answered as dispassionately as possible. “The Asset will have to decommission me. I have failed to perform and must be scrapped.”

There was a pause, and she saw a flicker of something in the Soldier’s eyes. Something she’d never seen before. Fear. And then the man was turning to Clint. “I don’t think I can do this.”

Clint nodded. “Sure. Take a break. It’s probably not the best thing to be around when you’re trying to heal-”

“I hope you’re happy together.” The Soldier started to walk away.

Clint stood, catching the man’s arm, face furious. “You don’t get to just walk away from her! She waited for years for you! Mourned you and now you're gonna just walk away?”

“She made me feel human. When they found out, they punished both of us for that. I don’t want to hurt her more than I already have.” The Soldier tore his arm from the grip. “Tell her goodbye for me.”

Clint frowned at the Winter Soldier’s retreating back.

Natasha wondered how long it would be before the Soldier was wiped again. When he stepped through those doors he’d probably be restained, carted off to the lab.

But she couldn’t help feel a little glad he wasn’t going to be the one to decommission her.

Clint studied her for another hour, and when she’d grown to shifting around in the chair, he stood.

She stilled, relaxing. This was it.

He took his gun out of his holster, eyes sad. “Sorry about this.” But instead of pointing it at her, he hit her over the head. 

 

A splitting migraine woke her up and she winced slightly, peeling her eyes open. “Barton?” Clint glanced at her from where he was eating apples. She looked around. “Was I- Did I hurt anyone?”  

“Nope.” Clint was nibbling on the apple slices as he fixed her with a steady gaze. “Nat? What’s your favorite movie?”  

Natasha answered confidently. “The Princess Bride”  

“Why?”

“Because it was the first movie I saw in America that made me smile.”

Clint’s shoulders relaxed and he smiled, kneeling in front of her as he undid the cords. “Welcome back.”  

She smiled slightly at Tony, who stuck his head in, probably for an update. “Where’s James?”

Both men froze. “He- He left.” Clint tried to explain the man’s reasoning. “He thinks he’s not good enough for you… He wants you to be happy without him.”

Natasha went quiet at that. “Oh,” was her only response.

 

Pepper stomped into the kitchen a few days later, eyes ablaze. “Where is that man? He hasn’t done any of his paperwork! Next time he wants me to-” The business woman stopped in the kitchen doorway, words falling short. 

Natasha was wearing her standard black SHIELD uniform, guns on her thighs. A bag was sitting on the counter, next to where Natasha was fixing herself a sandwich.  

But that wasn’t why Pepper had stopped. 

Natasha’s hair was cut short and dyed blonde.

Stepping forward, Pepper waved her hands. “What- Why did you-”

“I’m going on an assignment. Undercover ops. Seems everyone knows that red hair’s my trademark.” Natasha smiles at Pepper, but it’s tight, like the ones Natasha had given upon just moving into the tower. “I’ll be gone for a few months.”

“Do... Do they know?”

Natasha shook her head. “Only Fury knows where i’m going. The others are passed out, via drinking contest they couldn’t win.” Natasha’s face flashes with guilt for a second. “I cheated. Slipped them some Asgardian liquor. They’ll probably have pretty bad hangovers, so I made a quiche. It’s in the fridge.”

“Natasha-”

“Please take care of them Pepper. I won’t be around to make sure they eat and stay sane.” 

“Are you sure-” Pepper tries, but is cut off.

“Can you tell Clint that I miss Budapest?” The spy pressed a kiss to the woman’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Natasha leaves as quickly as she inserted herself into their lives.  Her things are still there, pictures still on her wall, but they’re all trinkets of her time in the Tower. All the things that are truly  _ hers  _ are gone, along with her.

When the others stumble into the kitchen, they find Pepper sitting on a bar stool, mascara trails down her cheeks and red lipstick on her cheek. She looks up at them, her words hollow and they all feel a tendril of fear curl around them at her words. 

_ “What have you done?” _


	8. Chapter 8

When the group hears Natasha’s message to Clint, they’re ready to gear up, go to Budapest, but Clint shakes his head. “She’s not there.”

“What do you mean?” Tony sounds almost hysterical. “She basically _said_ she’s in Budapest! We should go get her, make her think this through, because she’s obviously not-”

“Budapest was NOTHING!” Clint’s eyes are starting to water and he curses briefly. “I had a bad sense of direction, probably because of my head wound, and Natasha had gotten stabbed. We had no evac plan, so I had to keep us moving while she was bleeding out. Neither of us are entirely sure what happened, but we ended up in front of SHIELD headquarters with three bullet wounds, one broken leg, two dislocated shoulders, and a haircut.”

“So…”

“So she’s telling me she misses not having to be a hero. GODDAMMIT!” Clint slams his fist into the table. “I _told_ her to come with me! I’m the one that tried to convince her that she wanted to be an Avenger!”

Steve stands. “It’s not your-”

“Yes it is! SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE! She only came because I was here.”

Bruce frowned. “Natasha may have followed you here, but she made friends with all of us, helped all of us become a team.”

Clint laughed brokenly, his gaze pitying. “Don’t you see? That’s what she does. She adapts to her surroundings, makes allies, _pawns_ . Makes you wonder if she ever _really_ liked any of you.”

“ _Clint_!” Pepper’s voice is sharp. “Just because your masculinity is shattered because she left you, doesn’t mean you have any right to tear everyone else down with you!”

“Whatever.” Clint snorts, already storming off.

But the damage is already done. The seed is planted and all of them are questioning themselves.

 

Tony goes back to sleeping with a Iron Man suit watching over him and his gauntlet-watch on his wrist. Or he refuses to sleep, playing it off as one of his ‘science binges’, but no one calls him on the lie.

No one sits him down with hot chocolate, or cuts off his excessive caffeine intake or makes sure he eats on a regular basis.

Clint doesn’t sleep. He refuses to talk to Coulson until the man will give him Natasha’s location. He picks fights with the others, bags under his eyes. There’s no one who will lay with him, talk him to sleep.

No one will train with him. No constant support at his back during missions, and comes back from most missions with some type of injury.

Bruce hides away. He locks himself in the cage after almost every mission. No one is there to give him lullabies, the Hulk having to be put down by Tony’s Hulkbuster whenever he’s needed on missions.

No one is there to tell him he’s not as much a monster as he feels. He stops going on missions altogether.

Thor finally finds the courage to go back to Asgard. He finds that his family as actually more accepting than he thought and decides to stay there, grive for Loki with his family. He doesn’t return except to talk to Jane. He doesn’t visit the tower.

No one is there to sit with him and explain the simple Midgardian things to him, to find him funny youtube videos when he can’t sleep and give him warm hugs.

Steve wakes up shouting most nights. He’s in the gym more than not. He never cooks, claiming it’s not fun anymore. Sam is the only one who will try to get him to stop punching at things, but his voice isn’t soft with stories, Sam doesn’t pull him close and sway with him while humming softly.

No one is there to promise him that Peggy Carter was watching him from heaven. So he fights alone, tunes out a world that he can’t make sense of alone.

Sam shakes awake with tears in his eyes, but doesn’t have anyone to sit with, to talk with late at night. He misses warm blankets and spies that know exactly when he needs someone to sit with.

No one in the tower is in the common room sometimes when he can’t sleep, and the emptiness is somehow worse than his own room.

When Barnes returns to the tower a week after Natasha had left, he’s greeted with a few glares, most of them just keeping their silent distance. He knows that Steve’s “It’s okay. It’s not your fault Buck.” is not entirely heartfelt.

No one is there to braid his hair, steal sips of his drinks, give him chocolate bars.

They all stay in the Tower, but none of them are actually _there_.

A plain calendar hangs on the wall, and every day it’s marked with numbers that slowly count up.

Natasha’s rooms are left untouched, like a shrine.

Clint will sometimes pull up news articles and rant about how ‘they’re Natasha’, but the accidental deaths and disappearing people leave no leads, and after each one they all grow more withdrawn.


	9. Chapter 9

Natasha’s in the middle of making out with a drug lord she was sent to assassinate, when her cell phone goes off, playing a obnoxious Taylor Swift song. 

She breaks off the kiss, smiling apologetically. “I’m sorry, I have to get that. My little sister is calling.”

The man slaps her ass as she walks away, and she picks up the cell phone with her jaw clenched. “Suzie? I’m kinda busy right now...”

“Natasha you have to come back.” Pepper’s haggard voice is not what she’s expecting since her burner phone is only programed with one number: Nick Fury.

Natasha straightens, gives the man a polite smile and covers the phone. “Sorry babe. Suzie’s with my mom. Mind if I-?” She points at the balcony.

The man grins. “Of course mi vida. I’ll be waiting…”

She gives him a sultry smile, before striding to the balcony and closing the doors behind her, making sure the man is out of hearing range. “Pepper! How did you get this number?”

“I blackmailed Fury. But that’s not important. Look, you have to get back here. The boys are going crazy!”

Natasha narrows her eyes at the ocean she's standing over. “How crazy?”

“Bruce won’t come out of his labs, Bucky’s reverted to Russian, Steve’s in the gym all the time, Thor went back to Asgard, Sam’s going to group again, and Tony won’t do ANY OF HIS FUCKING PAPERWORK!”

Natasha chuckles softly. “Clint?”

“Clint? Well he’s been getting shot at least every time they go out and has decided to piss of the rest of the team.”

“Fucking  _ idiot _ . Okay, fine. Give me 4 hours.... I have to clean up.” 

Natasha hung up, sauntering back into the room. “Hey honey? Change of plans…”

Pepper looked down at the phone in her hand, standing from her office chair. “Happy? We need to give the boys a wake up call.”

She stormed into the Avengers tower, people scattering when they saw the look on her face. 

Everyone knew not to mess with an angry Pepper Potts.

An alarm was heard by all of the Avengers, who all tiredly made their way to the common room for assignments, finding Pepper there instead, tapping her foot with her arms crossed. 

The alarm stopped.

“Now that I have all of you in one room, I thought you would like to know that Natasha is going to be landing via quinjet in about…” She looked at her watch. “Three hours.” 

The room froze.

“You better not look like this, because from what I hear, she’s not very happy with the way you’ve been acting while she’s on  _ vacation _ .”

Everyone seemed to spring into action, running for the elevator.

Pepper smiled. “That should wake them up.”

Natasha landed the quinjet easily, still in the sundress she’d been in when she hung the most prominent drug lord in the western hemisphere off his balcony. She stood up, slinging her bag over her shoulder and starting down the isle of the jet, stiletto heels clinking against the metal floor.

The bay door opened, Happy and Pepper standing in the opening. “You need help with your bag?”

Natasha smiled, handing Happy her bag. “Thank you.” 

“Wow. You look amazingly tan and I  _ love  _ that dress.” 

She turned to Pepper with a soft smile and a hug. “The horrors of being a trophy girlfriend for the most dangerous men in the world.”

Pepper laughed. “I’m sure that was fun.”

“It was a refresher in why I hate men for sure.” Pepper laughed and Natasha glanced at the doors. “Are they-”

“They’re waiting for you.” Pepper pursed her lips. “Oh, and you might want to be honest.”

Natasha blinked. “What do you mean?”

“Clint might have suggested that you didn’t want to be in the tower and were just being nice to gain-”

“-Leverage. And then they took it as the truth?” Natasha’s felt her chest tighten and she swore in Russian.

Pepper nodded. “Exactly.”

They were all standing in a line, carefully not looking at each other, when the elevator dinged and they all straightened.

The doors opened, Natasha stepping out. She was wearing a loose sundress, sandy blonde hair rolling in waves over her shoulders. Her precise makeup and intricate jewelry made her look like some type of royalty, bringing out her vibrant green eyes. 

She looked stunning… and mad. 

Her steps were purposeful as she walked right up to Clint, slapping him across the face.

The others flinched at the loud ‘smack!’

“You idiot!” Her voice was a hiss. “You have no right to twist my actions like that! Yes I may not have wanted to leave SHIELD, but I made my peace! I made a family, a home! You had no right to take that away from me because you’re hurt I left!” 

Clint frowned at the ground.

“Those missions that were supposed to do three times a year? I was doing those! Both of our ignored quotas! So sue me for taking  _ my version _ of a vacation doing solo missions and not telling you, but you don’t get to destroy everything we’ve worked for!”

He started to say something, but she fixed him with a glare so mad he just hung his head instead. “I’ll come back to you.”

She moved in front of Tony. 

“You’re the stupidest genius I know Tony Stark.”

The man looked up at her, surprised

“You think that no one can see your problems? I can. You think that you can never wipe out the red in your ledger? Well I just got back from killing a string of people, so you want to compare notes? Have you ever strangled someone with your bare hands? Pressed the button that blew up a mob house, knowing there was a innocent woman inside, but that it was her or fifty murderers? Have you had to make that decision?” 

Tony’s eyes went wide. 

“Take a hint Stark. You’re in the clear. You’re a  _ saint  _ compared to me.”

Natasha moved to where Bruce was watching her with sad eyes. 

“And you! Yeah you turn into a giant green-bean on steroids, but Hulk is a person too. He might have the understanding of a child and the temper of one too, but he’s not a monster! You wanna see a monster?” She waved at herself. “Look at me! I dress like everything you want and then _kill you_! I’m the monster here, okay?”

Without pausing she marched to where Steve was standing. He straightened like a soldier, not looking at her, but at a point on the far wall.

“Steve. Stop it.” 

He finally looked down at her, seeing exhaustion on her face. 

“You’re not a soldier anyone. This isn’t a war and you don’t have to fight your way out of everything.” She picked up his hand, showing off busted knuckles that were slowly healing. “These are from yesterday presumably. They should be  _ healed  _ by now, which means you haven’t been eating.” Natasha glared at the others. “Yes, I know when all of you need to eat. I memorized each of your metabolisms when I became your  _ friend _ because I wanted to  _ help _ .” 

She dropped Steve’s hand and moved to Sam, but instead of saying anything, just pulled him into a hug. 

He clutched at her back. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re one of my favorites right now. At least  _ you  _ have healthy coping mechanisms.” The words were muttered into his chest. 

Sam let go after a long moment.

Natasha looks at Barnes, before turning back to the others. “Can you all give Clint, James, and I a second?”

The room cleared out.

She looked at Clint. “Barton, you’re my partner, my best friend. I love you more than anything but if you get shot _one more time_ I will kill you _myself_. Okay? I didn’t give you permission to get hurt.”

Clint nods silently.

Natasha turned to Barnes. “James, do you know why I always kept my hair red?”

He shook his head, eyes on the ground.

“Spies are not supposed to keep anything that identifies them. It’s the first rule of the Red Room… There used to be a saying between the girls. Do you remember it?”

“If fall ends, Winter is coming.”

She nods. “They used to say that because of the one time you went after a girl that ran. It was to remind us that you were never far off. The other girls used to be terrified of you, but I knew differently. You were the first person that tried to get me away from that place. And because of that, I kept my hair a shade of red, like autumn. Like fall. So that one day, hopefully, Winter would find me.”

His eyes widened as he looked up, surprised.

“When you came here you were too scrambled up for me to do anything but give you space... So imagine my surprise when you blurt out about remember me with no warning.” She chuckled to herself. “It’s almost poetic I would fall for the first two people to remind me how to be human.”

And suddenly lips are on hers, and she’s melting into a hot kiss. 

When the man breaks away, she sighs. “I needed that. I’ve been hanging out with terrible kissers for two months.”

Barnes growls lowly, enveloping her in his arms. “You’re not leaving again.”

“You can come with next time...”

Clint squawks. “What am I? Chopped liver?”

Natasha laughs, twisting around in Barnes’ arms to kiss the archer on the cheek. “I’m still mad at you for saying those things.”

“I’ll buy you flowers.”

She kicks him in the gut, making him bend over with a groan. “You  _ better not _ .”

“Hey! Dinner’s ready!” Bruce is calling from the kitchen.

Barnes kisses the top of her head. “You can beat him up later. Dinner’s ready.”

Natasha glares at Clint, who’s straightening himself slowly. “Fine. But only because it’ll be more fun when he’s fully healed.”

“Of course darling.” Barnes chuckles, ignoring the glare from Clint he gets.

 


	10. Chapter 10

The next week both Clint and Barnes refuse to leave her side. 

They both stubbornly take up residence in her rooms during the nights, one or both of them constantly with her during the days. 

Natasha tried to get up early to run with Steve and had woken Clint up, who had freaked out, in turn waking up Barnes. Natasha stroked the taller man’s long hair, shushing his sleepy questions. “It’s okay James. I’m here. Go back to sleep.”

She turned on Clint when she was sure Barnes was asleep again. “Look you fool, I’m going to be running with Steve and Sam. Now you both need your sleep, so accept that i’m not going to just  _ disappear  _ and go back to sleep!” She leaned over Barnes to mess up the archer’s hair. “I’ll be back in exactly an hour and a half. Jarvis will alert you if i’m late, won’t you J?”

_ “Of course Miss. As soon as you leave this room a timer for an hour and a half will start” _

Clint relaxed. “Don’t… don’t be late.”

She smiled, whispering “Am I ever?” to the now asleep man.

Steve donned a baseball cap and sunglasses, and she grinned at him, her voice teasing. “I don’t have to do that.” 

The man gave her a glare without any heat in it. “Whatever. I still think your hair should be red.”

She stuck her tongue out at him. 

Sam ran in, decked out in running gear. 

“You’re late!” She scolded the man, grinning.

“I’m not late! You guys are just abnormally fast at waking up!”

“The only reason i’m not more irritated with your tardiness is I want a running partner when this guy eventually decides to go into  _ turbo mode _ .” She stuck her thumb at Steve.

Steve rolled his eyes. “You two are just slow.”

Natasha chuckled at Sam’s offended expression as the back door opened. She started to jog, smiling back at the two. “Come on! I’m tired of being inside!”

Both men were smirking as they caught up to her. “They driving you crazy yet?”

She shook her head. “You have no idea. It’s like they think i’m going to disappear or something. Clint clung to me like an octopus this morning until I told him I was going with you two.”

Sam snorted. “They’re  _ so  _ whipped.”

 

Steve had gone ahead, and Sam had to stop by the bank on the way home, so she went with him, using the built-in communication system in her watch to pass a message though Jarvis: that she’d be a little late and not to worry.

Then it all went to shit.

Natasha swore she didn’t seek out trouble,  _ unlike  _ what Coulson liked to say. Trouble usually just… found her. 

So when she heard gunshots and people were yelling about it being a robbery, she just pulled Sam down with her and groaned. “Clint and James are going to  _ kill _ me.”

“Let’s hope they kill  _ them _ first then!” Sam hissed, pointing at the four armed assailants. 

She flipped the the SOS switch on the side of the watch, hoping Sam was right.

Sam started to stand up, only barely being pulled back down by Natasha. “Wait for the others! I don’t want any hostages to get in the way of the firefight. These are trained professionals, ex military by their boots, and won’t hesitate to kill people… Plus i'm pretty sure they have a bomb in there.” She nodded towards a black bag one of the men had set down in the middle of the room.

Sam clenched his jaw but stayed sitting.

One of the men with guns came around, tying the hostages hands together, before pausing in front of them. She stilled, head down. 

“Hey boss! Look who we got! Black Widow herself!”

She felt relief sweep through her at the fact that they hadn’t recognized Sam. She was trained for things like this, Sam however, was not. But she kept herself from showing that relief on her face, keeping her eyes cold as she looked up. “You know, you’re not going to get away with it. Why not walk away now?”

The man pulled her up by the hair and she shoved the pain into the back of her brain. “Oh yeah? And what’re you gonna do if you’re all tied up?”

Natasha kicked him in the dick, smirk vicious. “I could kill every one of you with my hands tied. Be glad you have hostages.”

Another of the guys hit her across the face with his gun. “Shut up bitch, or i’ll kill that girl over there.” He pointed a gloved finger at a little girl with pigtails.

Natasha glared at him, but kept her mouth shut. The man pushed her into a chair, tying her ankles to the legs. 

She fought the urge to roll her eyes. Like that could hold her. She however twisted and thrashed like she was securely bound, testing the restrains and playing up being secure. 

“Black Widow, all tied up… looks like you’re just a pretty face without your guns and gadgets.”

She heard the sounds of a jet landing and smirked. “I do have something else...”

The man looked at her, eyes amused. “Oh? And what’s that? Boobs?”

“Friends.”

Tony’s projected voice cut through the air. “Exit the bank with your hands up and release the hostages or we will be forced to come in and get you out.”

The man in front of her snarled, waving at the other three men. “Get a hostage. I got this bitch.” He turned her chair to face the windows, standing behind her, gun to her neck.

They all grabbed people and she noticed Sam sitting to the side, watching her carefully, waiting for her signal. She shook her head slightly. Now was not the right time. 

One of the men brought out a megaphone, handing it to the man behind her, who was most likely the ringleader. “I have your pretty little Black Widow in here. Are you sure you want to threaten us?”

Tony’s voice was controlled, ever the businessman. “Okay then, what are your demands? Because I’m Tony Stark and I-” 

His voice got cut off, and suddenly Clint’s rough voice was being broadcasted. “Hey Honey, you promised you’d come back to bed on time and GUESS-THE-FUCK WHAT? Now you’re in a fucking _bank_ being held _hostage_! Next time you better-”

Natasha sighs as the microphone gets stolen again, this voice dark with the promise of violence. “ _ If you hurt her, I swear that I will kill all of you responsible. I will make sure that your family is wiped off the face of the map, that your bodies are left out for the coyotes to _ -”

Finally the microphone is stolen for the last time, Steve’s commanding voice coming over the air. “We don’t negotiate with criminals . Send the hostages out.”

The man looks down at her and she rolls her eyes. “If you suggest a trade you can get one of those fools for the price of the women and children.  _ Unarmed _ .”

He looks from her to the others, before picking up his megaphone. “I will trade the woman and children in this building for one of the Avengers, unarmed.”

There’s suddenly arguing from the other side, slightly muffled over them all offering themselves up.

She eyes the man behind her. “Hey. Let me talk to them.” He slowly moves the megaphone her way, as if unsure. “Hey idiots!”  Natasha hears the arguing stop.  “I think that good ol’ Tony Stark would be a  _ great _ guy to trade for these innocents.”

Tony comes back on the mic. “Hey Widow. Good to hear your voice. Your boyfriends are getting kinda bitchy about- Fuck! That  _ hurt  _ you ass !”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “Tony! Focus!”

“Okay, okay. I’m coming in. Unarmed.”

A second of silence, and then Tony Stark is striding into the building wearing beat up jeans and a band t-shirt, his famous tinted sunglasses over his eyes. “Hey everyone. Everything peachy?”

The man behind her waves his gun. “Okay! All the women and children are free to go!” 

There’s a pause.

Natasha raises her voice. “Go! Get your kids out of here!”  And with that, women are rushing for the door with their kids. Eventually they’re left with twelve men, Tony, and her. She looks up at the man. “Can you untie me?”

The man scoffs. “Why would I do that?”

“Because I’m the only one who can unlock the vault for you, now that you released the bank manager.”

The man growled, hitting her across the face with his gun again. “Bitch! You tricked us!”

Tony stepped forward. “Hey!”

A man pointed a gun at him and she shook her head. “It’s alright Tony. They just forgot i’m a world renown spy for a second there.”

“I won't forget again.” The man cut off the restraints on her ankles. “Stand up! You're gonna unlock the vault for us!” He waved at the other guys. “You two stay here and make sure these morons don't cause any trouble. You, come with me. I don't trust this bitch alone.”

She stands, looking at Sam and then Tony. “Play nice everyone. We don't want this to blow up in our faces.” She flicks her eyes at the bomb and sees Tony’s eyes widen for just a second.

Tony smiles at her, glancing to Sam. “Loud and clear sugar. No funny business here.”

Natasha nodded and let the men lead her towards the vaults, hoping Sam and Tony could take down the two men and disarm the bomb without much trouble.

They got to the vault, and she held up her hands. “I might need these.”

“You're a world renown spy. Do it with your hands tied. I bet you’re  _ good at that _ .” The man gives her a filthy look that makes her wish she had stayed in bed with Clint and Barnes.

“Fine.” She hated everything. “It'll take a little longer though.”

“Get started then.”

Natasha spared a thought for Tony and Sam, before pressing her ear to the wall of the vault and starting to move the dial slowly.


	11. Chapter 11

Sam's wrists were already untied, his hands simply laying in his lap as he waited for some type of signal.

And when one of the guys fell, a shot clean to the head cutting through the glass silently, Sam suspected it was a good a signal as any. He jumped up and tackled the other man, seeing Tony run to the bomb and start to fiddle with it.

Sam knocked the guy out, turning to the other hostages. “Get out! Go!”

The hostages scrambled out, Clint, Barnes, and Steve charging in. 

The two assassins looked around wildly. “Where's Nat?”

Sam pointed down the hall. “She got the other two to lead her to the vaults.”

Clint scoffed. “Of course she did.” Clint and Barnes rushed off in that direction. 

Sam saw Steve roll his eyes before turning to Tony. “Progress?”

Tony winced. “Well, it's not that complicated as long as the trigger isn't-” Something started ticking and Tony cursed. “Okay, so that's not good. Um, I would get out of here. I'm not gonna be able to disarm it before it blows.”

“How long do we have?”

“um… about two minutes?”

Steve looked from the hallway where the two men had disappeared, back to Tony. “Get clear, both of you. Get a perimeter established. I'll try to get to the others.”

They split up.

Tony and Sam ran outside, Tony stopping and fishing out his phone. 

“Stark! This isn't the time to call someone!”

“It’s exactly the time.” Tony pressed the phone to his ear. “Hey Blondie. We need you. Nat needs you.” Then he hung up. “Wait for it…”

A whoosh and Thor was landing, the street cracking beneath him. “Widow is alright?”

Tony nodded. “She will be if we get that bag in there out of here. It's about to go boom.”

Thor nodded, running in, and coming out a second later with it in hand. “Fear not friend Stark. I have got this.” He wound back throwing the bag as hard as he could. It flew straight up into the air, exploding. “What a sight! It is like those fireworks Jane took me to see!”

Tony chuckled. “I missed you big guy. It's good to have you back.”

Thor smiled at them. “I have missed you all too.”

Natasha was in the middle of the third tumbler on the lock, when she head the distant sound of a gunshot and cringed. The leader looked towards the hallway and then narrowed his eyes at her. “Your friends might be coming for us, but they’ll be dead with us before they can get that chance.” 

He pulled out a detonator and she used his distraction to kick it from his hands, gritting her teeth when the action got her shot in the left side of her stomach.

She just needed to buy Tony some time.

Natasha spun around, slamming the other guy into the vault door as the leader ran for the fallen detonator. He stood up, and a shot rang out from behind him, making the man freeze, before smiling. 

“Boom.” He pressed the button before falling flat on his face. 

Someone grabbed her from the back, pressing a gun to her head. “Back off or I kill your little girlie here.”

Natasha looked at Clint and James, who both froze, slowly lowering their weapons. “You don’t want to do that man.” Clint’s voice was wavering, not matching his words. “All three of us are trained assassins.”

“I’ve seen the fanart! The news articles! ‘Black Widow and Hawkeye dating’, you wouldn’t do anything to hurt her!... So you, blond guy, open this vault!”

Clint calmly raised his hands, walking around them slowly. “Geez. How many people think we’re dating?”

She rolled her eyes. “I think it’s kinda funny actually. Cute maybe.”

The guy frowned. “You’re not dating?”

Natasha shook her head slightly, and the man turned to look at Clint, forgetting that the Winter Soldier was right behind him. A metal hand grabbed the gun and twisted it out of the man’s hand, throwing it across the room before grabbing the man by the throat and doing the same to him.

Clint smirked at the man’s unconscious body. “We’re not dating, we’re married. Idiot.”

Steve found the three of them wrapped together in a hug and Natasha smiled at the man from where she was being squashed between the two assassins. “Hey Cap, about time you got here.”

After the others realized she’d been shot, she was promptly scooped up into Barnes’ arms, Clint yelling at her while they exited the building following Steve. “I can’t believe you got shot!”

“You got shot six times while I was away, don’t make  _ this  _ into a big thing. We’ve all been shot before! It’s part of the job!” Natasha frowned at the man from where Barnes wouldn’t let her down.

“That doesn’t mean you have gain a resistance to bullets! I didn’t give you permission to get shot at, you damn woman!”

“I don’t  _ need your permission _ Bird Guy!”

“It’s Hawkeye!”

“Bluejay?”

“Hawkeye!”

Steve groaned. “You two argue like a married couple!”

They both turned on the man. “WE _ARE_ A MARRIED COUPLE!”

 

Apparently the a news station had already gotten the video of this argument up by the time they’d landed at the Tower and she scowled, watching the video over and over again, knowing Clint had stalked off somewhere to sulk.

Natasha hit the ‘replay’ button again, but a hand was pulling the tablet out of her hands and setting it to the side. She looked up from where her head was resting on Barnes’ lap.

“Watching that another time isn’t going to fix this.”

She scowled at the man. “Why are  _ you  _ being rational?”

Kissing her gently, the man started to stand up. “Go apologize to your husband.”

“James.” Natasha grabbed his hand. “James you realize we’re only ‘married’ because two of our aliases needed an excuse to be together? Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton aren’t married, just Nadia Rivera and Christopher Burke.”

Barnes seemed to un-tense a little at that. “I’m still- It makes my brain hurt to think of being with-”

She nodded. “I know. The whole ‘there are three of us’ thing is sometimes confusing... Just think of it as a team. Partners who have your back on the field and off of it.”

The man picked her up from her sofa, setting her down on her feet and looking down at her. “Fine, i’ll let go of this jealousy. But only if you make up with him.”

Natasha narrowed her eyes up at him. “You drive a hard bargain James Barnes. Fine.”

The man grinned.

 

Clint was unsurprisingly in Natasha’s rooms, curled up on the sofa in a pile of blankets. She pursed her lips. “Wow, Clint must be _expertly_ hidden. I can’t find him anywhere…”

Blonde hair and narrowed blue eyes poked out of the mass of pillows. “Go away.”

Barnes shrugged wrapping an arm around her waist. “Guess he isn't here. I guess we have to make good use of your bed without him...”

“Hey!” Clint wiggled out of the mass of blankets, standing up and pointing at them. “Bruce said she’s too injured to be out on the feild, much less  _ screwing people _ !”

Natasha rolled her eyes, walking over to wrap her arms around the man. “Don’t you worry about my innocence babe. We both know I don’t have any.”

Clint snorted. “Is that supposed to be an apology?”

“Im sorry, alright?” She stepped back and looked up into his face. “I know that I got shot and that it was reckless of me, but the others needed time to take care of the bomb or none of us would be standing here.”

Clint pulled her into a kiss, before dropping his forehead to hers. “I know. I know, I just get worried... What would Fury say if I lost his best agent?”

Natasha snorted, pushing him away. “You know, I like James more right now.  _ He’s  _ not being whiny about me getting shot.”  She looked at Barnes, whose eyes just glinted dangerously. 

“I’m just waiting until you’re healed. It’s that  _ more fun _ ?”

Natasha felt shiver go down her spine. “Remind me to injure myself as soon as Bruce tries to deem me fit for the feild.”

Clint looked past her. “I’ll stop her from getting hurt as long as I get front row seats?” 

Barnes smirked. “Of course.”

"Clint!"

Clint patted her shoulder. “Unfortunate. Jarvis, play Fuck You.”

_ “Playing Fuck You by Lily Allen.” _ A catchy upbeat song started up in the background.

She glared at his back as he skipped off to the bedroom.


	12. Chapter 12

When Bruce had declared her safe for strenuous activity, she had officially hit stir-crazy. 

The others had been called out on two different super-villain runs, three more minor disturbances, and Clint had been called out by SHIELD to do a simple milk run.  (Apparently Fury hadn’t run out of milk runs for her to do when she had came back, something about how they ‘never did them’?  _ Blasphemy _ .)

Thor and Bruce were mostly keeping her sane, being as they usually didn’t get called out onto the field, and she baked more than she had in what seemed like  _ ever _ .

After her clean bill of health, Tony suggested that they take the Quinjet and go to his mansion in Malibu for a few days. Everyone agreed, and Natasha called Fury to alert Barton of the plans whenever he came back.

The flight was short, mostly with her laying in Barnes’ lap and ignoring the group’s protests every time the man leaned down to kiss her sweetly. Sam even threw pieces of his sandwich at them, until she had to hold Barnes back from killing the man and Sam wisely stopped.

They landed, each setting out to explore the various rooms. Natasha immediately got on a red bikini and grinned at Barnes. “Wanna swim with me?”

 

She and Barnes were sitting together in inflatable tubes while drinking iced tea and watching Thor, Steve, and Sam whack each other with pool noodles, when the door opened, and a beat up Clint limped onto the pool deck. Tony lowered his shades from where he was laying out on a lounge chair next to Bruce, raising an eyebrow. “You look like shit Barton.”

“Suck my dick.” Was the prompt reply, the man slowly putting his gear aside and just stripping down to his boxers.

“I don’t think that Natasha would approve of us being more than friends.”

Barnes grinned at the man from over his iced tea. “He said to suck his dick, not that he wanted to be more than friends Stark.”

Tony mimicked being hurt, bringing his hand up to his arc reactor. “I’m hurt Barnes. Hurt.”

Clint grunted. “Not more hurt than me, asshole.” 

“Remind me to come with you next time you’re sent out of a simple milk run. You tend to get in trouble when i’m not in your proximity” Natasha took in the amount of bruising on his chest and the swollen ankle with a frown. 

Clint finally got the uniform off, throwing it to the side. “You’re more than welcome to suck my dick too, y’know.” He limped to the edge of the pool, and before anyone could say a word, fell face-first into the water.

He surfaced with a groan. “Bad idea. Bad idea...”

Natasha grinned, chuckling along to Barnes’ booming laughter. “Idiot.”

They wrapped themselves in pajamas after the pool got boring and laid themselves out on the massive couches around a wall-length TV. Natasha ruffled Tony’s hair as she went to go make popcorn. “Remind me that James and Clint both make me very happy when I get blinded by your money.”

Clint glared at her from the couch, while James just snorted. “Doll, if you could stand Stark long enough to be attracted to him i’d give you a  _ medal _ .”

Natasha kissed Tony’s cheek, and when Barnes made to stand up Tony shoved her away. “Stop it! I don’t wanna be ripped to shreds by your wild dog!”

She laughed, slinking off to the kitchen. 

In the middle of waiting for the popcorn to get done, different temperate hands wrapped around her, the cold one sliding up her shirt. Natasha batted at the hand. “Hey. You’re cold.”

“And you’re warm.”

Natasha spun around to kiss him softly. “Only on the outside James.” And then she was being picked up, thrown over a shoulder. She hit his back. “My popcorn!” 

James carried her into the other room, when a voice made both of them stop.

_ “Does our favorite female superhero have a dark side? We’re here to talk about the recent news, that Hawkeye and Black Widow have been revealed to be married. However, our Black Widow has been seen getting close to America’s second favorite War Hero, James Buchanan Barnes. Do you think that Black Widow is more than her code name? We have here with us a expert on superheroes, Dr. Reed Richards.” _

The woman turned to a man next to her, and James set Natasha down gently.

Tony growled from the couch. “Richards _ … _ ”

The man on the screen looked like a wannabe scientist, with short hair that was graying on the sides of his head and a large lab coat.  _ “Yes, hello Monica. I’m here to speculate on the characteristics of the ‘Black Widow’, who, might i remind you, has also been seen with all of the members of the Avengers in position of compromise.” _

Natasha frowned, grabbing the remote from Sam and changing the channel. She then pulled out her phone, hitting speed dial. 

“Hey… I need a press conference… Yeah i’m sure. We have to get ahead of this. Got it. See you soon Pepper… Of course. I’ll whack Tony for you.” She hung up, turning to the boys. “So? What do we say?”

No one said anything. 

“Come on! Ideas!”

Tony looked up. “You could tell the truth… That Clint, James, and you are involved.”

“Yeah. Because a poly relationship will go down in the news  _ so  _ well.”

Steve pursed his lips. “Then we have to give them a bigger story. One that’ll take the heat off of you.”

Tony grinned. “I gotta date someone on the team! That’s it! The media may like Nat because she’s a mystery, but they love me even more because they know everything about me! So, who am I gonna date? Bruce?”

Natasha shook her head. “Everyone knows you two have your science love connection. It’s not much of a shock… but America’s golden boy however…”

“What! I’m not dating Barnes! That’s your problem!”

Natasha grinned at Tony. “Not him.” Tony and Steve met eyes, both looking like they were deer in headlights. “It’s only for a few weeks. Just until they do their fact checking and Fury tells them that Clint and I aren’t actually married.”

“Wifie! I can believe you would say that!” Clint cried. 

She rolled her eyes at the archer. “Shut up Bird Man.”

“ _Betrayal_!”

Natasha, Clint, and Barnes watched Stark trip over his own words, his face red as he held Steve’s hand. Steve himself looked too shell-shocked to even speak, head dipped in embarrassment.

Barnes shook his head from the left of her. “Never thought that Stevie would like a _Stark_.”

Clint looked over her at the man. “You know this is fake right?”

Barnes shook his head. “Not for him.” He pointed to where Steve looked like he was part tomato. “He only got like this when he and Peggy were together.”

Natasha smirked. “Oooh. Blackmail…”

Barnes frowned down at her.

She sighed. “Fine. I’ll let it go.”

“Thanks Doll.” He leaned down, kissing the tip of her nose, ignoring her huff.


	13. Chapter 13

Natasha was filming Clint, who was asleep on the counter, her and James balancing Cheetos on his face, when the elevator opened. She looked over, eyes going wide, and turned the camera that way instead.

Tony’s infamous Black Sabbath t-shirt was stretched tightly over Steve’s larger body, Tony himself following the super soldier closely, one of Steve’s black muscle tees hanging off the smaller man. 

Tony yawned. “I need coffee injected directly into my veins.” He stared at Natasha warily. “Why’s the spy smiling? What happened? Did someone die?”

She grinned wider. “Nice shirt Tony.”

The man looked down, eyes going wide before they darted to Steve, narrowing. “I _knew_ this was too big to be mine.”

Steve handed him a cup of coffee, leaning down to kiss the man’s cheek. “You look better in it than me though.”

Natasha giggled, posting the video with the title “CAP AND STARK! PROOF THAT HUMANITY HASN'T GONE TO SHIT!” She got up, grinning widely when her phone started buzzing crazily. 

Tony just groaned at her face, reaching for his phone, keying in his code. He looked at the screen for a long moment, before looking back up to her. “Tell me you didn’t”

Barnes chuckled. “Picked a smart one there Stevie.”

Tony buried his head in his hands.  "Pepper is going to end me.”

Slowly the noise from the media subsided, mostly being happy with criticizing Natasha’s youtube videos.

The next video she put up was of Jane slow dancing with Thor on the balcony, ‘What Makes You Beautiful’ playing in the background, until a voice rings out from off camera. 

“Stop stalking Thor and come back to bed.” The camera’s POV turns to show a shirtless James Barnes, hair a mess. “And stop filming people!” 

Natasha snorts as the man turns around, tripping on something and falling on his face. 

“Fuck!”

The next video was  _ not  _ posted by her. 

She’d been on a girls night with Pepper when it had gone up. 

It was of James and Clint talking casually, both of them having to take a shot every time that they brought up Natasha’s name or something about her. 

But towards the end of the video, Clint just gave up on that, babbling on about different missions and how she’d ‘looked so fucking hot in that little red dress, thighs wrapped around that guy’s throat.’ 

Eventually James stopped trying to tell the archer to take a shot, instead drinking straight out of the bottle himself. “Shut up or I’m gonna have to call her away from the girl’s night. She’ll be pissed if I interrupt that.” 

They stared at each other for a second, before Clint smirked. “She used to wear these red ballet shoes when she practiced at SHIELD, and the red satin straps would wind up her legs… whenever she was practicing it was like the whole building forgot how to function. She once caught some of the agents watching her when I was away on assignment and made them help her stretch. She sent me part of the security tapes when I got back. I was so pissed...”

Barnes pulled out his phone. “I hate you.”

“Worth it.” Clint stole the bottle back, drinking heavily.

She remembered ignoring the call. 

Then when she watched the video later, she rolled her eyes. So  _ that  _ was why she’d found the two making out on her bed, drunk out of their minds. 

That gave the media a hay day, but they all mostly ignored it.

The next video (this one filmed by her) was of Thor reacting to cute kittens, and the number of requests for new videos almost broke her computer.

 

The next day another video was posted of Thor reacting to a horror movie with Barnes’ monotone, “Wow. HYDRA made better horror movies than this.” being heard in the background. 

Thor apparently didn’t think so though, practically wrapped around Bruce, who just looked amused. “This is appalling! Why would you midgardians like this so- Ah!” 

The man’s yell came out of nowhere, and Bruce visibly winced.

Tony and Bruce are working, huddled over something in the next video. 

Tony keeps saying there aren’t enough explosives yet, and Bruce just looks exasperated. 

“Really, Bruce. You don’t see it? If we don’t put more TNT in there, it won’t work” 

The curly hair man looks at Tony. “Tony, there’s three kilograms of dynamite in there. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT IS?”

Eventually they get behind the blast doors with Natasha and press detonate. 

The whole tower shakes, Steve running in. “Tony! What did I tell you about blowing things up?”

Tony just looks sheepish. “Sorry babe. I forgot... Momentary lapse in memory?”

Natasha started collaborating with Pepper, titling her videos things like “15 Beauty Hacks the Government Doesn’t Want you to Know”, “How to Dye Your Hair Red Like the Blood of Your Enemies”, or “Three Winter Outfits You Can Totally Kill Someone With”.

Apparently everyone loved the videos and she started to get invites to talk shows, plainly refusing to acknowledge them.

She got a twitter message one day addressed to her, from a teenage youtuber that did amazing hair. She and Pepper followed the girl, always watching the videos with envy, so she replied back immediately.

The next week she and Pepper went to see the girl, who just looked starstruck. 

The next video was of both Natasha and Pepper getting their hair braided fancily, and they both refused to take the braids out for days.

The next video is off of Clint’s phone, it’s a little wobbly, but it makes Natasha smile every time she watches it. They’d gone on a coffee run, when a teenage girl came up to Natasha. “Um… Excuse me?”

Natasha had turned around, and after looking at the girl, put her glasses up and smiled. “Hello. What can I do for you?”

The girl looked down at her hands. “I- Well you’re my favorite superhero because you’re female and-” The girl looked alarmed, like she misspoke, waving her hands. “Not that you aren’t badass! Because I think that you are! It’s just-”

There was a pause, before the girl tipped her head.

“What’s wrong?” Natasha squatted down so she was looking up at the girl. “What’s bothering you?”

The girl wiped at her eyes. “I- I’m trans… So does that make me less of a girl?”

Natasha shook her head almost instantly. “I think that it might make you cooler than me, but not less of a woman. Never.”

The girl looked up, eyes red. “R-really?” 

“Honey you’ll never be less of a woman... I can’t have kids, am I less of a woman?”

“No!” The girl looked almost offended. “That’s not your fault though!”

Natasha ruffled the girl’s hair. “And being born into the wrong body isn’t yours.”

By nightfall, the hashtags #Widowforpresident, and #Blackwidowisourfave were trending. 

Her next video is called "Things Assassins Do at Three AM" and consists of her driving to Starbucks while lip syncing _In My Feelings_ , Clint in the back seat actually signing and trying to do air guitar, while Barnes is fast asleep in the passenger’s seat.

The video hits four million views in two days and the whole tower is humming the song for another three.


	14. Chapter 14

Her next video (via request) is Steve and Tony reenacting a Stony fanfic. 

Clint is narrating in the background, and Steve turns red scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he reads his lines.  

Tony puts his all into it, eventually getting irritated because Steve isn’t putting the effort in.  “What do you _mean_ you won't kiss me? It says you do it _passionately_! A kiss on the cheek is _not passionate_ Rogers!” 

Natasha and Barnes are drunk, slowly losing it in the background as Clint looks ahead in the fic, eyes widening with laughter and shock. “This isn’t even the worst of it yet... Damn.”

 

A related video is Sam and Barnes reacting to Natasha, who's reading a fanfic about them out loud calmly. 

Sam’s face slowly grows more and more bewildered, while Barnes just looks extremely tired. 

When Natasha stops reading, Sam’s already left and Barnes just looks at the camera tiredly.  “Why?”

The next video, Sam is holding an egg and an empty beer bottle. 

He turns to Steve. “Hey Steve, do you think I can get this egg into the bottle without it cracking?”

Steve snorts, taking a sip of his coffee. “ _No_.”

Sam threw the egg behind Steve, landing directly on Barnes who was stirring coffee tiredly. Sam grins at the camera. “I guess you were right.”

The video cuts off with Bucky tackling Sam to the ground, the last sound a girlish shriek.

 

Natasha’s helping Steve move his stuff into Tony’s room, like a  _ nice  _ friend, ignoring Clint and James, who are eating donuts on Tony’s couch and watching her move said boxes. Finally she goes to pick up a box and hearing her back pop, she sets it back down with a grimace.

She turns to James with a sweet smile. “Sugar Plum?”

“Hmmm.” The man hums, eyes following her. 

“Can you lend me a hand with this?” The man reaches his hand up to his the place where his metal arm attaches and she narrows her eyes dangerously at him. “If you throw your arm at me, James Barnes, you will sleep on the couch for a  _ month _ .”

She sees his hand still, before a metal arm is flying her way, Clint trying to muffle his snickering. 

Natasha picks up the arm, glaring at the man. “You’re both on the couch. And this,” she holds up the arm, “Is mine.”

“Wait! Doll!”

But she’s already storming down to Tony’s lab to ask the man to lock up the arm. 

She smirks. Tony would do it. 

He owed her a favor.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone asked for another chapter, so here it is!  
> Sorry it's so late. <3

Natasha thought that Peter Parker was adorable, sure. He, Ned, and MJ were some of her favorite kids to hang around (if the only kids she hung around).

But she had her own set of teenager-like problems with trying to keep Clint and Barnes entertained. 

Not that she was complaining. 

No, those two meant way to much for her to ever jinx what they had.

 

Although, when Loki was concerned… just the mere thought may have jinxed it.

 

James and Cint were in an interview, Natasha, Tony and Steve out on a mission. 

Clint was getting the most questions for the time being and James was kinda just staring at the wall blankly.

“So, Mr. Barnes… What’s your favorite part of being an Avenger?”

“Natasha.” The man blinked, then scrunched up his face. “Wait, what was the question?”

Clint snickered into his hand and James kicked him. 

“You know you were thinking about her too, you ass.” Clint coughed and James looked back up at the reporter, eyes wide. “Uh… Favorite part of being an Avenger? I - uh…”

The reporter raised an eyebrow. 

James shrugged. “Yeah I have nothing. It’s Natasha.”

The doors to the recording studio were blown open and instantly both men were out of their seat, with their weapons out. The news lady looked alarmed, but motioned for the cameras to keep rolling.

Loki smiled, holding out his arms. “Bird-boy and assassin-man. Where’s your  _ lovely  _ keeper?”

James snarled, putting a handgun out of wherever super-spies kept handguns. “She’s not here, and even if you would she still won’t ever return your hopeless crush. Get over it. She tricked you once and now you’re obsessed?”

Loki frowned. “It's a pity that she’s off with Stark and the Captain…” 

Clint narrowed his eyes.

“Well… I hope that she’ll realize how childish you two are once and for all.” With a explosion of green light, Loki was gone and in the place of the two assassins were two teenagers. One with floppy blonde hair holding a knife that was too big in his hand and the other with long hair that fell in his face, metal arm too big for his body.

The tiny Clint Barton then proceeded to start laughing at James Barnes. “You look like a mangy raccoon!”

“Shut up! What’s Tasha gonna say?”  

Both boys went silent.

“Excuse me miss?” James peered up at the hostess. “Can I use your phone? I gotta call Tasha.”

The lady fished out her phone handing it to the boy. He punched in a number from memory, pressing the call button. 

Clint hit his arm. “Speaker dummy!”

With an eye roll, the other boy put it on speaker.

“How did you get this number?” Natasha’s voice came through, ragged as she was currently fighting off a crew of pirates in the Mediterranean.

“Hey doll… Um Loki stopped by and…” James looked at Clint, making a motion of ‘what do I say?’

“ _ Shit _ _that hurt_.” There was a loud bang and then, “Wait. Loki? And why do you sound- Hold on.” Another crash and two gunshots. “Okay sorry. Why do you sound like Parker and where’s Clint?”

“Hey Babe! I’m here! And both me and Soldier are apparently…” The blonde frowned, both boys arguing silently for a long second. “Teenagers?”

“Hold on. I’ll be there in less that ten minutes. Steve can hitch a ride with Stark.” The phone call cut off.

Clint frowned. “We’re dead.”

“So dead.” James agreed sullenly.

“Do you have any juice boxes?” Clint smiled at the host.

 

Natasha stalked in to where Clint and James were providing live entertainment, as their handlers wouldn’t let them leave and risk her wrath. She was in full-on mission uniform, blood on her face and hair messy, but her eyes widened almost comically when she saw them. “What the-” 

“Tasha!” Both boys jumped up from where they were playing Twister, the hostess calling out colors, to hug the (now) taller woman.

She just stared down at them both. 

Bucky was slightly taller, hair still shaggy, but his eyes were big and her looked like the picture of innocence. She briefly wondered if that’s where Steve learned it from, then pushed that thought from her mind. Barton, the man she’d known most all of her adult life, was grinning up at her childishly. Except his hair was floppy, there was a band-aid on his cheek and his hair was messy.

With a long-suffering sigh, she smiled. “Come on then. Let’s go home.”

“Can I have a piggyback ride?” Barnes’ big eyes stared up at her.

“I just got thrown into a wall. How about I just carry you instead.” And like he weighed nothing (which compared to his bigger self, he did), she put the boy on her hip. 

Clint decided to wrap himself around her leg and Natasha walked out of the building in all her battlefield glory, with a two boys clinging to her.

 

“I’m not sleeping with you two in my room when you’re no older than Peter.” Natasha eyed the two from where they had been pleading about their normal sleeping arrangements.

“Tasha!” Clint whined.

“Nope.”

Barnes pulled out the big eyes. “Please?”

Natasha stood up. “I’m going to bed.” Both boys shot up with grins and she sent a glare their way. “Alone.” Pouting, they both sat down.

Sam grinned down at Barnes. “You  _ do  _ kinda look like a raccoon dontcha?”

Barnes tried to punch him with the metal arm, but ended up falling off his chair, making Clint go into a fit of laughter.

 

Natasha woke up to two smaller bodies laying on top of her. Clint and James were both clinging to her like they usually did and she snorted, laying back down. “Ridiculous.”

The two followed her around all day and she finally got to the root of their clingy-ness when Peter stopped by to spar with Natasha, something he’d been doing weekly. 

“Too slow web head!” She grinned, ducking a swing he sent her way and flipping backward to avoid one of his kicks. “You have to catch up!”

A tiny body flung it’s self at her unexpectedly and Natasha was sent to the ground. “Ha! Didn’t expect that did you!” 

Natasha frowned at Clint. “Clinton. You know better than to interrupt training! You could have gotten hurt!”

“I’m not a child! Neither of us are!” Clint cried, James coming over and tugging at the blonde boy. 

“Come on Clint. Let’s go get something to eat.”

Clint ripped his arm from James. “No! She’s been treating us like kids! I’m not losing her to him!”

Natasha sat up, an eyebrow raised. “Who?”

“Loki! He said you would leave us!” Clint’s eyes seemed to glisten with unshed tears.

Shaking her head, she pulled the boy into a hug. “You know how I am with kids… Admittedly yes, I’ve been distancing myself-” She winced at their matching looks of hurt. “-But only because i’m afraid!”

“Of what?” James’ voice was soft. 

“I can’t have kids. You both know this. You both know that I've always wanted kids… but I don’t know how to act- I wouldn’t be a good parent… And I didn’t want to mess this up with you two.”

They both pulled her into a hug. “We’re just tiny versions of ourselves Tasha. You can’t fuck us up more than you already have.”

She laughed. 

 

The two boys proceeded to then prove this fact to the whole tower, challenging everyone but Natasha to an epic prank war in which they: 

\- dyed Steve’s hair pink

\- replaced all of Sam’s clothes with pink versions of his normal clothes

\- programmed Tony’s watch to play ‘I’m A Barbie Girl’ every hour for three days straight

\- put sriracha sauce in all of the coffee and tea K-cups

\- got Pepper to ask Tony for a report that didn’t exist

\- and moved all of the furniture in the main room two inches to the left.

To say that her YouTube channel had more than enough content was an understatement. 

Also, the video where they all dressed up like characters from Alice in Wonderland was a big hit and people where raving over Clint's white rabbit ears, James' Mad Hatter costume and Natasha's Alice dress for weeks to come.


End file.
